Fumble Fingered Food Porn

Damn. I hit the damn post button instead of draft.

My attempt at Food Porn

Marinade for Top Flight Steaks
This is a rough estimate of the spices required for a 8-10oz steak (scale accordingly)
1/8 Cup Brown Sugar
1 Tbl Spoon of Freshly Ground Black Pepper
1 dash of Ginger or 2 dashes of Chinese Five Spice mixture
1 oz of Gin (or 2 ozs for tougher cuts of meat)
2 Tbl Spoons of Olive Oil (or Canola, but I prefer Olive)

Mix oil, booze, sugar, spices thoroughly.
Rub mix deeply into the meat.
I find it easiest to put the steaks in a big freezer sized ziplock bag and let sit for 24 hours. Best is 48 hours. Pour excess marinade into the bag.
Cook on BBQ

I prefer Gin, but you can use any hard grain alcohol. For those who don't like certain flavors, the flavor isn't going to last once the meat starts cooking.

Money for Nothing

Now look at them brokers thats the way you do it
You play derivatives on the securities
That ain't workin thats the way you do it
Money for nothin and chicks for free
Now that ain't workin thats the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys aint dumb
Maybe get a paper cut on your little finger
Maybe get a staple in your thumb

We gotta install brand new kitchens
Custom stereo deliveries
We gotta move those Ferarris
We gotta move those plasma tvs

See the little maggot with the loafers and the top end suit
Yeah buddy thats all Propecia
That little maggot got his own jet airplane
That little maggot hes a millionaire

We gotta install brand new kitchens
Custom stereo deliveries
We gotta move those Ferarris
We gotta move those plasma tvs

I shoulda learned to do some calculus
I shoulda learned to cook them books
Look at that model, she got it stickin in the camera
Man we could have some fun
And hes up there, whats that? Margins Called?
Yelling on the cellphone 'bout panicking
That ain't workin thats the way you do it
Get your money for nothin get your chicks for free

We gotta rip out brand new kitchens
Custom stereo repocessions
We gotta take those Ferarris
We gotta remove those plasma tvs

Now that ain't workin thats the way you do it
You play derivatives on the securities
That aint workin thats the way you do it
Money for nothin and your chicks for free
Money for nothin and economic ruin for free

The Mind of McCain

It's been observed by many others that McCain is probably the closest we will ever see anyone be Gollum in real life. Sadly I suspect that when McCain is asleep, the conversations in his head go a lot like this:

McCain 08: We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They will help us win it! Sneaky little Rovians. Wicked, tricksy, true!
McCain 00 : No. Not Rove and Dobson!
McCain 08 Yes, precious, true! They will cheat, hurt, LIE FOR US!
McCain 00: Rove is your enemy!
McCain 08: NO! YOU don't have any friends; nobody Repub likes YOU!
McCain 00: I'm not listening... I'm not listening...
McCain 08: You're not a Maverick, but a coward.
McCain 00: No!
McCain 08: *BLACK BABY*.
McCain 00: Go away!
McCain 08: "Go away?"
[McCain 08 laughs as McCain 00 begins crying]
McCain 00: I hate you, I hate you.
McCain 08: Where would you be without me, McCain 08 the pander I saved us! It was me! We survived because of me!

Of course, the basis for this dialogue is from the Two Towers.

Rick Davis' Theme

Sorry Roger Miller.

I'm for sale or rent
Lobbying to let...fifty grand.
Six phones, a pool, some pets
I won't shill for mere cigarettes
Ah, but..two hours of greasin' palms
Buys an eight or twelve bedroom house
I'm a mean ass man of some means
King of the Toads.

John McCain, pres campaign
Destination...Bangor, Maine.
Well tailored suits and shoes,
I won't pay for union dues,
Lobbied for Freddie before it hit the ground
Deny, with a big wink around
I'm a mean ass man of some means
King of the Toads.

I know every body under every rock
Sell their children, and for any price
Get every handout from every corp
Get every buck that ain't locked
When no one's around.

I sing,
Lobbying to let...fifty grand.
Six phones, a pool, some pets
I won't shill for mere cigarettes
Ah, but..two hours of greasin' palms
Buys an eight or twelve bedroom house
I'm a mean ass man of some means
King of the Toads.

Songs of Cognitive Dissonance

A few days ago I had a conversation with a friend regarding songs whose meanings are different than the popular culture. For instance, "Born In the USA". Instead of a rip roaring ode to the US America, it is a bitter song of lost promise, failed dreams and decay. Not exactly what the Reaganites believed it to be. I know because I read the liner notes.

My personal fav? The Police's "Every Breath You Take." Instead of a song of insane love as played at weddings, it's an even creepier song about a stalker and his (definitely him) prey. I've been told that I'm no romantic and bitter who can't find love (true) but I retorted to them, "Sing it while imagining yourself lying down on the ground with your eye in a scope as you look at your target while grasping a sniper rifle ." Not so romantic, eh? "Every breath you take, I'll be watching you."

Glory Daze (Sorry Boss)

I had a friend was a Navy pilot guy
Back in Indian Country
He could crash that Skyhawk so fast
Make you look like an ace, boy
Saw him the other night at the Sturgis rally
I was walking in, he was offering Cin
We went back inside sat down had a few drinks
But all he kept talking about was

POW days well they’ll pass you by
POW days in the wink of the first wife’s eye
POW days, POW days

Well there’s Cindy that lives up the block
Back in school she could turn all the boy’s heads
Sometimes on a friday i’ll stop by
And pop a few pills after she puts her old man to bed
Her husband Johnny well he calls her a cunt
I guess it’s gone on twenty years by now
We just sit around talking about the old times,
She says when she feels like crying
She starts laughing thinking about

OxyCon days well they’ll pass you by
OxyCon days in the wink of his first wife’s eye
OxyCon days, OxyCon days

Her husband worked 8 years in the ‘House
And they beat him up
Now everywhere she goes out looking for support
They just tell her that she’s too old
I was twenty two years old and she was “working” on the
White House Healthcare cluster fuck
Now she just sits on a stool chugging boilermakers
But i can tell what’s on her mind

Glory days yeah goin back
Glory days aw she ain’t never had
Glory days, glory days

Now i think i’m going down to the DNC tonight
And i’m going to drink till i get my fill
And i hope when i get old i don’t sit around thinking about it
But i probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
A little of the glory of, well time slips away
And leaves you with nothing mister but
Boring stories of glory days

Relections on the Intro

Gahhh. I hate ripping apart my own work, but I feel I need to if I'm going to improve.

This was one of the first sections of the manuscript I wrote. To tell you the truth, I tried to make it exciting but with 10 year older eyes I think it's pretty weak on a writing technical point of view. This is what happens when you think you are more clever than you really are.

Fuck.